- Isaac: Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should've gotten more.
- Augustus Waters: Seventeen.
- Isaac: I'm assuming you've got some time, you interupting bastard.
- Isaac: I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness.
- Issac: But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.
- me: what do you call a nun in a wheel chair?
- mum: what
- me: Virgin Mobile
- mum: go to your room
My friend’s dad used to work on Kim Possible and one time we went with him to work and I remembered how a classmate of mine had asked me once why Bonnie’s boobs were round and Kim’s were pointy so I asked my friend and her dad walked in and my friend immediately spun the question on him and I was like no wait stop but without even blinking he just said ‘because Kim’s are real’
bless the followers who tolerate your 95% fandom posts that aren’t even their fandom
“Okayyyyy,” Isabelle said in a low voice, “When did Brother Zachariah get hot?”
when ur crush gets a haircut and u realize you only ever liked them for their hair
A little bit of JEMMA in my life
A little bit of JALEC by my side
A little bit of WAYWOOD is all I need
A little bit of HERONCHILD is what I see
A little bit of CARSDALE in the sun
A little bit of HERONSTAIRS all night long
A little bit of fanservice here I am
A little bit of feels makes me your man
you sang that didn’t you